After reading about Daniel Tosh’s rape “joke” to an audience member, and then reading comments from people who defended Daniel Tosh’s rape “joke,” I can come to only one conclusion – that stand-up comedians are often a bunch of whiny privileged babies who can’t take even the slightest hint of criticism.
Here’s what happened: Daniel Tosh said that rape is “always funny.” A female audience interrupted him to declare that rape is “NEVER funny.” Daniel Tosh responded by saying, “Wouldn’t it be funny if five guys raped her right now?” The audience laughed, the audience member who criticized him left the comedy club, she told her friend about it, the friend blogged it, and the Internet responded.
Some people on the Internet said that rape is NOT funny. Some people on the Internet responded by saying that rape IS funny and everyone should be able to joke about it if they want to, and besides, the woman was asking for it by going to a comedy club in the first place.
(I’m not the only one who sees an eerie similarity between the logic behind “If you didn’t want to hear rape jokes you shouldn’t have gone to a comedy club” and “If you didn’t want to get raped you shouldn’t have worn that outfit,” right? Didn’t think so.)
Moreover, the woman was clearly in the wrong because she heckled him. Heckled, in this case, means “interrupting and vocally disagreeing with him.” And people who are defending Daniel Tosh, praising him for being offensive and “edgy” and cool, keep harping on this point – that she was a heckler, and hecklers get what they deserve.
This is where I really wish I had a close friend who was a biologist or anthropologist or some kind of scientist who could identify this subspecies of human being who thinks a person saying that it would be “funny” if a woman was raped by 5 men was “just telling a joke,” but a person interrupting a comedian was committing a terrible breach of etiquette. It’s fascinating to see a group of people who pride themselves on being “edgy” and charmingly offensive and provocative suddenly turn into pearl-clutching, monocle-breaking little old men and ladies when someone breaks the rules in a comedy club.
Seriously, this is how you can sum up most conversations about not only the Tosh incident, but any time there’s a public outcry when a well-known comedian makes a rape joke. Here’s a brief scene between two people I like to call “Taylor” and “Quinn.” (I chose androgynous names intentionally because that’s how I roll.)
TAYLOR: I really didn’t like that comedian’s rape joke. It was a hurtful joke.
QUINN: Psh, whatever. You’re just being oversensitive.
TAYLOR: No, I’m serious. I’m going to let this comedian know my feelings.
QUINN: OMG what is WRONG with you?! You interrupted his routine? That’s so mean and uncalled for!
To people like “Quinn,” interruption and public criticism is a greater crime than “joking” about seeing someone raped – and we’re the “oversensitive” ones.
Meanwhile, they who lash out, silence, and implicitly threaten an objector to the comedy routine for saying the equivalent of “I disagree with you!” – they get to continue to call themselves “edgy.” They get to proudly declare that they are the ones who are not easily offended, and they get to say this without a trace of irony.
Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not overly impressed with the so-called “edginess” of these comedians and these comedians’ defenders if they have to resort to a rape threat to respond to a person who said, “Actually, rape is never funny!” I grew up in a large family of people who made Interrupting an Olympic event, and I didn’t ever respond by saying it would be “funny” if said interrupter was raped.
Granted, standing up in front of a large group of people and being paid to entertain them is a lot more difficult, and has a lot more pressure surrounding it, than eating a dinner with a large family. I’m not saying stand-up is easy.
Then again, I was a teacher for four years and had to deliver a form of my own routine, one that had to be both entertaining and educational – day in and day out for every day of the school year, so I’m not completely unaware of the pressure it takes to stand up in front of a group and perform. And while I don’t have the nerve to attempt stand-up of my own, I look at the kind of heckling I had to face – and that many teachers have to face – every day, and I think that a lot of stand-up comics have NO IDEA how much worse it could get.
I faced worse heckling than “Actually, rape is never funny!” on a daily basis, where kids chatted their way through my lessons to the point where I couldn’t even hear myself, where I was told my breath smelled like horseshit, where I was questioned about my sexuality and sexual history, where I was left sexually explicit “artwork,” where I was threatened with violence. And I can name at least ten colleagues of mine, if not more, who would hear these stories and tell me that I got off comparatively easy – and after hearing their stories, I would agree.
And in the face of these interruptions and innuendos and threats, I would grit my teeth and try not to explode, because if I exploded I could lose my job, maybe even my career, and I had to be careful about what I said.
Meanwhile, a comedian can make a rape “joke” that is really a rape threat to an audience member, get paid to say it, have scores of fans defend him on social media, and still be considered some kind of victim.
Obviously there are, and should be, different rules for educators and performers, but I’m still not impressed with the type of comedians who pride themselves as provocateurs and equal-opportunity offenders who then get so easily offended themselves when an audience member says something that’s a tad more pointed than “I disagree with you, sir!”
Who are these thin-skinned, brittle-boned comedians who can’t listen to an interruption (NOT a heckling) without threatening physical violence? Who are these thin-skinned, brittle-boned fans of said comedians who throw massive temper tantrums and whine about “freedom of speech?” They get paid for saying whatever they want about anything under the sun, and can’t handle when fans tweet at them and disagree with what they say? They get to be special, precious, delicate little snowflakes and still claim to be “edgy” and “innovative?”
Then again, what do I know? I’m too easily offended to be able to think about this clearly.
